Lozzy Boy's Capital of Culture 2008 Space

Liverpool FC has excelled in the local squabbles of Capital of Culture year - emerging victorious from both derbies against the self-appointed 'People's Club'. And victory is important: the gloating of family, friends or work colleagues from the other camp is hard to bear, especially as the carping normally persists for months before there's even a shot at redemption. After yesterday's win, I can revel in the land of the magnanimous conqueror; no requirement for me to don the twerpish hat of the sore loser. So, bad luck Everton - you battled manfully, but fortune was wearing Red on this occasion!

On a different note, I did the aural equivalent of a double-take whilst listening to Radio City this morning. Under discussion was a controversial event scheduled to take place in Liverpool tonight. You couldn't make this up: a competition to unearth Britain's hardest doorman! The mind boggles - so much for attempts to portray bouncers in a different light http://www.liverpoololympia.com/home.php. I shan't be attending. Never mind the contest in the ring, in such a testosterone-fuelled environment you'd have to suspect that a separate challenge to identify the hardest audience member is a distinct possibility!

As part of Liverpool Biennial http://www.tate.org.uk/liverpool/exhibitions/liverpoolbiennial08/default.shtm, the city itself has been transformed into an art gallery; whilst there are exhibitions at the Tate and Bluecoat http://www.thebluecoat.org.uk/, much of the art is simply lurking around the street corner! When confronted with this knowledge upon entering the Tate, and having been issued with a plethora of maps, for a moment my straightforward, traditionalist mind did not compute...  However, once comprehension had been attained, I decided this was a great idea - an art treasure hunt!    

As I was there, my hunt began in the Tate. The gallery's exhibition is primarily made up of new commissions with many emerging artists on display. Perhaps the lack of gala names explained the relative calm; mind you, after the intense crowd, claustrophobia and associated aromas I experienced at the Klimt exhibition, this tranquillity was a blessed relief. 

Upon arrival you are met by David Altmejd’s The Holes, a giant installation featuring a twenty-foot long Gulliveresque creature crafted out of wood, resin, horsehair, glue and other assorted materials. The figure is lying on its back amidst glacial stalagmites, its body variously rotting in places, or sprouting new life from the decay. Such is the size of the piece that you can wander around, spotting new details each time. It's a worthy opener and moved me to take a photograph. Big mistake! The previously comatose attendant was on me like a shot, raving about the artist's copyright. I bowed down to her iron rule and ascended to the top floor of the gallery, which houses the remainder of the exhibition.

I particularly enjoyed the work of Romanian artist Adrian Ghenie - dark, twisted paintings of ominous, faceless individuals depicted in a style reminiscent of the artwork of graphic novels. If Ghenie's subjects do have faces, they appear to be melting or scored away, creating a scary sense of alienation and dehumanisation. The colours used are predominantly murky swamp-green or brown, but daubs of psychedelic colour occasionally penetrate the gloom. This unsettling mood pervades the exhibition and features heavily in the works of Liverpool-born artist Ged Quinn and American Adam Cvijanovic. For instance, Quinn gives us Porky Pig crying tears of blood and the disturbing image of a cat riddled with longbow arrows – perhaps a bridge too far for a sensitive soul such as mine...

But what of this art secreted around the streets of Liverpool? After the gallery, I hit the trail. Looking at the map you'd need a day or more to see everything, but in my brief hunt this afternoon I encountered revolving trees, a Belfast-style gable mural and a building with a rotating section of wall - superb! The Biennial runs until 30 November 2008 so I will return to discover what other bizarre treats lie in store...  

My plans for last weekend were extremely limited, focused as they were on Liverpool’s match against Manchester United and the subsequent joy or misery hinged on the outcome. With kick-off early on Saturday, a defeat by the hated rivals would cast a pall over the rest of the week. Mercifully, for the first time in years I was saved from this plight by the heroic endeavours of the Reds. I watched the game on TV and after hearing an unidentified neighbour joyfully celebrating United’s early goal, it was in a gleeful, almost maniacal fashion that I responded to his cry after our winner. Fantastic!

A fitting celebration was required so I hit town for an evening of ferocious revelry. The night started with some triumphant snifters at a mate’s house before we descended on Chibuku http://www.chibuku.com for a boisterous, punky set from Reverend and The Makers http://www.iamreverend.com followed by some brilliant eclectic tunes from Glasgow-based DJs, Optimo http://www.optimo.co.uk/. After Chibuku I lurched up to Magnet http://www.magnetliverpool.co.uk for a night-cap and managed to get my befuddled body home just before the birds started to sing. The ensuing head of rice has laid me low until today but was definitely worth it…

This weekend I’m checking out the Liverpool Biennial at the Tate http://www.tate.org.uk/liverpool/exhibitions/liverpoolbiennial08/default.shtm, an exhibition I’m really looking forward to, which promises a celebration of contemporary visual art.

The torrent of rain relented for a couple of hours today so, as promised, I went spider hunting. 'Hunting' is perhaps a misleading term as La Princess' route was meticulously documented on a variety of websites, as evidenced by the thousands milling in Liverpool's commercial district waiting to catch a glimpse. My observation was initially thwarted, kept at bay as I was by the horde. From a distance, and in the shadow of the looming Liver Building, La Princess was distinctly underwhelming. But, after weighing up a retreat to the warm embrace of a bar, I decided to chance my arm from one last vantage point. And what a spot it was! Tottering astride a wheelie bin I had managed to locate myself directly adjacent to the mechanical beast's path...

Up close and personal La Princess was mightily impressive. Rearing up high above the crowd and belching forth foam, she looked for all the world like she was crawling independently along Castle Street, her regal passage accompanied by ethereal flutes. It was all too much for some of the kids around me who went from nervous laughter to outright bawling. But for the concentration required by my bin surfing, I'd have probably joined in!

Thankfully, my possible hysteria was replaced by amusement as I noticed the operating team of boffins arrayed about La Princess' body. For people enjoying an unbelievable theme-park style ride, their furrowed brows and intense concentration were hilarious. However, perhaps their focus was justified: a misdirected mechanical limb scything through the onlookers would be a story with legs all of its own!

'Ye Gods, it's a giant spider, run for your lives!'

I thought this cry and my exaggerated dash away from the beast looming overhead was amusing; the look of bemusement in my fellow onlookers' eyes revealed that I was gravely mistaken. Oh well, I think showing concern when you espy a minibus-sized spider waiting to pounce is perfectly reasonable, not a sectionable act, even if in melodramatic jest! The spider is La Princess and this weekend she is on the move http://www.liverpool08.com/streets/LaMachine/LaPrincess/. Hopefully by then the recent monsoon conditions will have abated so I can get some photos of the hideous creature on the prowl...